Welcome to Fathers & Daughters

This is the first post in an exploration of modern fatherhood, especially what it means to raise daughters in a world that is shifting emotionally, culturally, and spiritually.

Thank you for reading this. Your first question may be, what is this about? The title kind of says it all. This writing is about my experience being a very proud father to a daughter, but it is also about the larger shifts happening in how we parent, relate, and grow up alongside our kids.

My daughter Colette—Coco—is eight. She’s my absolute everything and greatest teacher. Yes, it sounds like a cliche, but it is because it’s true, not just in fatherhood but in life. She’s helped me unlearn things I didn’t know I was carrying and relearn what it means to be present, joyful, and true. Watching her move through the world with clarity and heart has cracked something open in me, and I want to write from that place. In this, I also make mistakes, anger, imperfections, and being able to live with that and acknowledge when I go wrong, continuously helps me be a better person. My life goal, more than anything, is to continuously build a relationship with her that will last forever, to be close to her as she grows, to be a trusted person to her, to be a role model for what a good partner can look like, and to be inspired by each other.

This is also part of a bigger picture—something I’ve felt in conversations with others over the last few months, and in my journey as a man and a parent today.

Our generation sits at the edge of two significant shifts. One is technological: We grew up analog—wandering through new cities without phones, learning to connect by being uncomfortable, curious, and human. Our kids are born into a mapped, translated, digitized world. There are no secret spots anymore; it’s all on Instagram. It’s convenient, but it also skips the kind of friction that builds human connection and empathy.

The other shift is emotional. I generally bring up “the end of the world in 2012”—not because the world actually ended, but it was the end of the Mayan calendar and an end to an old paradigm, and something new opened. It was the beginning of a new kind of collective consciousness. Our generation is raised by parents who didn’t always have access to emotional tools. Talking about feelings wasn’t normalized. You followed the rules. You didn’t ask many questions, if at all. Love was there in its own way, but the language and actions around it were often missing.

Now, our generation has been learning to name what we feel, to sit with it and be comfortable in the deep hurt and suffering, and to heal parts of ourselves that were never fully seen. We don’t always get it right—we stumble, we try, we grow—but we’re starting to do things differently.

And now, our children are growing up emotionally fluent. They are emotionally native, in the same way they are digitally native. We’re not handing them the tools—they already come with them. What we’re doing is making space for them to use them. They’re learning to speak truths we were never allowed to voice. And if we stay open, they end up showing us the way back to ourselves.

Artwork by Coco

I’ll be writing from my own experience and sharing what I’ve learned, what I’ve gotten wrong, and what I’m still figuring out. I’ll also be talking with other fathers raising daughters, especially about how fathering daughters reshapes our understanding of masculinity, power, tenderness, and presence. I want to talk with daughters, both young and grown, about how they experience this shift and what they need from us as fathers now.

This is an exploration, a conversation, a space for stories, insights, and questions about what fatherhood can be. There will be essays, interviews, some podcast-style conversations, and always a deep curiosity about how we can show up better. Your input and conversation will always be welcomed; we’re here to learn together, so chime in or make suggestions.

So this is the beginning. I’m deeply proud to be Coco’s father. I’m proud she chose me. And I’m ready to learn out loud.

Thank you for being here with me.

With heart and gratitude,
Kristian

PS. If any of this resonated with you, I would be very grateful if you shared this blog with someone who would like it. The more we share, the more we can learn from each other.